A Response to the Denial of Sexism
Note: This diary was posted at DKos, in response to an "open letter" to Hillary supporters. The open letter sat at the top of the Rec list this morning, but has since been knocked off.
Stop it.
Stop these diaries, these "open letters." Stop explaining to me where Hillary went wrong as if you are doing me, or any of us, a favor.
And most of all, stop telling me sexism doesn't matter.
There's a diary that sat at the top of the Rec list this morning at DKos, (cross-posted at MyDD as well), in which the diarist states, as others have and surely more will do, that sexism is not the problem. It's not even a problem.
Yes, there has been a little sexism. Just like there has been a little racism.
But Hillary isn't losing because of sexism.
"We hate the bitch, but not because she's a woman." That's the meme now. Acutally, that's been the meme for a while. And I don't doubt there is truth to it. Even I, someone who has supported Hillary, can point to a number of places where she and her campaign went wrong.
But that's not the point.
I am sure that some people in this country, in this party, have voted against Hillary because she's a woman. But I don't believe for a second that's where the majority of Obama's votes came from. He has worked hard and run an excellent campaign; I do not deny that.
But just as we have discussed race in this campaign as something more often subliminal, something that has asserted itself through "dog whistles" and "coded language" and "innuendo" and subtle suggestions that seek to subliminally remind us that he is -- gasp! -- black, so too have we seen this happen with sexism.
But we have not seen the same reaction.
Obama's presence in this campaign has provoked a national discussion about race, a "major" speech in Philadelphia, and seemingly endless diaries around the blogosphere from white people apologizing for the sins of racism and black people finally finding the courage to point an accusatory finger and talk honestly of their experiences with "typical white Americans."
And that's a good thing. It's healthy for our party and for our country. We can hide our heads in the sand, or pat ourselves on the back, but the truth is that we have not eliminated racism from our culture.
And we have not defeated sexism either.
Before the race even started, it was there. Before a single vote was cast, before either side engaged in "race baiting," before all the -gates cited by Obama's supporters as proof that their hatred of Clinton is justified (and not about gender)...Before all of that, there was sexism.
An article in the New York Times analyzed the Clinton marriage and how many nights they spend together and whether, according to outside observers, the Clinton marriage was "good."
There was the column in the Washington Post about Clinton's cleavage. Yes, her cleavage. As if she'd pranced about in a Brittney Spears outfit. And no, there was no equivalent column the following week about Obama's shapely ass.
Every talking head on every cable network -- even the supposedly less-offensive MSNBC -- feels perfectly comfortable discussing Clinton as old, as unattractive, and, of course, as someone around whom them must carefully protect their precious balls, lest she crush them with her thighs (see Hillary Clinton Nutcracker), or even with just her stern, cold, robotic, school-marm, first wife stare.
And now it is apparently acceptable to compare her to the psychotic homewrecker from "Fatal Attraction." As if she really will kidnap our children and boil our pets.
When it comes to discussing sexism during this campaign, nuance gets thrown out the window. Instead, the anti-Hillary crowd laughs, jeers, mocks. Silly little feminists. Silly little women. Get out of the way. Shut the hell up. We don't need you anyway.
Earlier in this campaign season, the blogosphere was all in a tizzy about a Clinton ad that used a photograph of Obama that some insisted had been doctored. It made Obama's skin look darker, and his features, particularly his mouth and nose, more prominent. The suggestion by many was that this was a deliberate smear job to make Obama appear more "black" and therefore more "menacing." It was a subtle reminder, a dog whistle. It was an evil ploy by the Clinton team to remind us, by suggestion only, that Obama is black and black is scary.
And yet...
The language, the pictures, the analysis that reminds us that Clinton is a woman, and women are weak and emotional and hysterical and given to tears when they are "periodicially" feeling down -- all of this is irrelevant. Any reaction is simply Clinton and the Clintonistas refusing to accept reality -- that people hate her for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with gender.
Any suggestion that the (mostly male) media has been sexist in its treatment of Hillary is dismissed as overreaction. A protest of MSNBC, organized by Clinton supporters, was widely mocked and dismissed on this very site. Bunch of whiners. They're not even real feminists, anyway. If they really cared about feminism, they'd support Obama.
This primary season is almost over, and Obama is almost certainly going to be the nominee. And so we are seeing these diaries now from Obama supporters, explaining to the rest of us where she -- and we -- went wrong. And these diaries want to make it very clear to the rest of us that:
sexism had nothing to do with it. In fact, it was anything but.
But that's a lie. And that's the problem.
We are Democrats, goddmanit. We are the party who celebrated 1992 as the Year of the Woman. We are the party that fights for reproductive choice, equal pay, working moms, childcare, healthcare, welfare, Head Start, Title IX, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
We used to take this seriously. We use to be offended by the way the media treated women. And now, we dismiss it. We laugh it off. We make excuses. A progressive radio host refers to women in the Democratic party as "bitches" and "fucking whores," and the overwhelming response -- from Democrats! -- is to lighten up, to get over it, to even, dear god, acknowledge that this so-called progressive radio host kind of has a point.
It is a problem. It's a problem for our party and our country. It's a problem for every woman I know, even the ones who say it isn't a problem for them because they're not "that kind of feminist."
It's a problem for every elected woman in the Democratic party. It's a problem for the next woman who has the audacity to throw her hat into the ring.
And casual assurances from the party that we'll get a woman in the White House "someday" or even "soon" do not assure me. It has been centuries since Victoria Woodhull made the first courageous run for the White House. Are we there yet? Have we shattered that glass ceiling yet?
No.
I want more than casual assurances from the party. I want a realization. I want an admission. We have veered so off course from where we are supposed to be on this issue. Exactly how much progress has been made since the glorious Year of the Woman sixteen years ago? How many more women are in the Senate? The House? The Supreme Court?
We've gone backwards. And while it's wonderful that we have our first woman Speaker of the House, it's not enough. It doesn't erase the damage done, it doesn't mean we do not have further to go.
Hillary will not be the nominee, and despite my wishes, Obama probably won't put her on his ticket. That is his right. So she will go back to the Senate, perhaps with a consolation prize, such as Majority Leader, perhaps not.
But the problem, the larger problem that this campaign should have proven to all of us does still exist, will not go away. We can hide our heads in the sand. We can applaud ourselves for finally breaking through one barrier, the important barrier of race.
But the problem will not be fixed. The next time a woman runs for president, we will face it again. Is she tough enough? Too tough? Are her clothes too boring or too revealing? Is she too young? Too old? Are her ankles too fat? Is her hair just right? How often does she sleep with her husband? Are her successes in life really her own? Diamonds or pearls?
Don't tell me sexism isn't real. Don't tell me it is irrelevant. Don't tell me it isn't a problem -- a serious problem -- that the Democratic party must address. If we have the courage to face up to our dark and disdainful history of racism, and even the courage to face the racism that exists today, even within our own party, certainly, somewhere deep within our souls, we have the courage to face up to sexism.
At least, I hope we do.
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